Revolting Door

Today I finally did something that’s been lingering in the back of my mind for a long time as a short term relief option to my physical misery at work.

It was lunch hour and on my way back from getting food to-go I stopped by at the bar and ordered a Long Island. There were many people in the bar around lunch time, slouching over the bar, sipping, watching the big TVs up high on the walls, everyone in their own world, so I didn’t feel awkward, and I didn’t feel alone. After I signed my receipt (stupid thing probably paying with credit card for this but whatever will be will be) and took the first longed for medicinal gulp, I waited for the bartender to go to the other side of the bar, opened the lidded strawed empty non-transparent soft-drink plastic cup I had politely asked for at the to-go lunch place, poured my drink in it as if I do this every day, and off I went back to work.

For those of you who may some day read this and think I’m an alcoholic let me clarify-

My drinking habits consist of drinking a glass of wine every once in a while. I don’t really like beer, and if I ever drink vodka, I drink it mixed in a cocktail and in small amounts. Of course I’ve been drunk like almost everyone, but I take pride in how well my brain handles alcohol - so well that even when I’ve been really drunk, I’m still the one who takes my friends home and they can’t even tell I’ve been drinking. It’s a whole other thing how my stomach handles it and of that I’m not proud but usually after I take my friends home I spend the rest of the night and the following day until around 5PM throwing up. Therefore I avoid hard liquor. But hard liquor in small amounts has proven to be the best (and only one so far) short term pain relief. I resolve to it only after I’ve spent all other options - stretching, exercise, back rub, going for a walk, Excedrin, Tylenol, Ibuprofen.

So because my job requires sitting all day, and because this is exactly the kind of activity (or lack there of) I should be avoiding, I resolved to that Long Island today. I don’t feel like I’ve done something wrong. If that’s what they want me to do - sit all day - even after I told them my back hurts, that’s what they’ll get. It’s bad not only for people with my condition, it’s bad for completely healthy people too. No one cares if you’re miserable from pain, all you have to do is sit there like an idiot all day (or walk around the building for 5 minutes - let me tell you that doesn’t help), smile like an idiot and say hi to arrogant retards who don’t notice you when you’re there but notice when you’re gone because there’s no one to alphabetize their name tags, and do their stupid meaningless projects. Basically you beat up your health for ten dollars an hour, get older faster, and want to scream and cry from pain when you come home.