Revolting Door

I ate nearly 2000 calories worth of spreadable chocolate over the past two days. 1000 of those come from fat. I don’t feel bad though. Nutella is awesome!

I know some people/women are craving babies, some are craving men. I’m at that point in life where I’m craving a home. A beautiful, cozy, homey, tasteful space to call mine. In a decent neighborhood. In a relatively warm city. A place I look forward to coming back to when I’m tired; not a shithole I despise coming back to even when I’m tired.

I realize that there’s more to it than a home. There is friends, there is a meaningful job… But the home is what I have on my mind mostly. And what irritates me is that right now I have no idea how to achieve this dream.

I get extremely excited these days about getting amazing, fresh groceries for super cheap. I just spent 7 dollars and 36 cents and came home with a smile and two heavy bags consisting of fresh green leaf lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, broccoli, limes, sweet plums, black beans, tortillas and an enormous avocado which actually makes about a third of my whole spending but it was so big, healthy-looking and bursting with life I couldn’t help it. These groceries will probably last me a week. Oh the perks of living in this neighborhood…

She’s getting better and better at this saving and getting the most for your buck thing. From the girl who would carelessly throw seven bucks to try a good-looking never-tried-it-before bottle of exotic looking stake/salad/whatever sauce, she’s turned into this saving monster, hovering over each penny, ready to attack and kill the sorry ass who tried to rip her off. The ironic part is that she used to despise this kind of people and now she’s one of them.

So much of what you do every day goes to satisfy Its Majesty The Body - you eat to feel satisfied and calm, you sleep to keep rolling, you poop because you can’t help it, it’s gonna come out anyway. You have sex because if you don’t have sex while there is a great sex partner available you will just go nuts. So much easier to stay calm, relaxed and fulfilled without sex if there is no sex partner available. But I’m getting off topic. Its Majesty The Body. Three things I need the most to fulfill my day so I can drift away happy and blissfully tired at night:

1. The right amount of physical activity.
2. The right amount of mental activity.
3. The right amount of social interaction.

Challenge: Finding the balance between the three; finding it every day.

Social interaction and mental activity partially overlap. You need to use your brain to interact fully. But social interaction alone is not enough to fulfill my brain needs. I need something analytical, some problem solving leading to an accomplishment or a positive outcome in order to fulfill that need. Physical activity seems the easiest to satisfy despite it takes the longest time.

The apricots are ripe, velvety and heavy on the tree outside my window, and blackberries are ripening every single day downstairs in our back yard. It’s a cool and gray summer day in Chicago - a great change and a breather from the weekend’s heat wave.

This week’s Thursday carries all possibilities to turn into a fun, exciting, productive and socially fulfilling day, if I let it. In the morning I’m meeting with an interior designer to exchange ideas about our respective fields, and in the evening A wants to take me out to dinner at the Thai restaurant where we had our first date.

Update (7/19/09): Meeting interior designer didn’t happen since individual never got back to me, and date with A turned into a family dinner completely changing the anticipated dynamic. The day wasn’t better or worse than I expected, it just ended up being different. I’ll do you a favor this time and save you the whole “what’s the moral of the story” preaching. You’re welcome.