I woke up at 4AM tossing and turning. Thoughts of loans, lack of security, lack of a job, fear of the approaching winter. Somehow everything seems easier when it’s warm. On top of that I’ve been a little sick these days and the feeling that no one cares for me is always heightened when I’m sick. It felt cozy and warm when I woke up though. The occasional wind gust making the trees outside my bedroom windows go shhhhhh… and then stop. Behind the old shades, not entirely covering the windows, I could see the night - dark blue with a hint of orange coming from the lamp posts. It’s amazingly warm for October, so warm that the thought of the debilitating cold that will soon embrace the city scares the crap out of me. My nose was stuffy and my throat hurt a bit although not as much as last night. I got up and went to the restroom, not feeling sleepy at all. With lights off, bathroom window open to the neighbors’ roof, I took my time, breathing, taking in the autumn warmth through my congested system. Then I sat here where I’m sitting right now and updated my profile on a couple of job websites. What’s been scaring me in the past few days is how almost impossible it is to find a job online, it’s all about freaking networking.